It felt very strange to be sleeping and yet not asleep. It was not my room. The bed was hard and I had refused to use the available pillow. The previous occupants had probably slept with their mouth open. I tried hard to sleep but thoughts kept coming back to me. It felt like I would wake up tomorrow to an entirely new world…life changed drastically. There seemed to be some sort of anxiety. I looked around and saw my mother sleeping peacefully. I kissed her and took another dupatta next to her to cover my pillow.

This still didn’t seem to get me my sleep back. I was getting to worry now. My mind and heart seemed to be having tiffs within. I checked the alarm piece, it was 2 AM in the morning and I had been tossing and turning for the past 2.5 hrs.

I heard familiar voices outside. I had a dream of being taken to a room very similar to the one I was at present. I had the most wonderful face smiling down at me and it didn’t matter where I was, what I did, where I slept, what I ate or what I drank!

The next thing I know, my mom is vigorously waking me up. I checked the alarm piece and it showed 5 AM. Wha? The anxious journey was actually just going to begin…..

Looking at the mirror, I wondered if it was the same me. I looked different, very different. Things were moving way too quickly. It seemed like yesterday when I was a small girl riding my bicycle to school. I could very vividly recollect all the wonderful moments of my tuition classes. That was where I had met him. It had all begun there. Friendship, love, life ...all had a new beginning. We shared a very different and wonderful relationship. We would never meet, never talk in public, yet we knew exactly what was happening every second of our life. Thanks to some 18,000 secs/day that was religiously spent on the phone (wink!).

The class room so bright, he would sit with his back to the wall, facing me on the other side. Adrenaline rush each time our eyes met, followed by more stares until our friends started to feel the heat ;-)

The golden years of PU and engineering are still very fresh in my mind. Fun, laughter and just plain time-pass. My TASK group was really born there. The crazy days consisting of this-is-the-last-time trips aplenty, mind blowing night outs, long walks and constant talks…

I was jolted out of my thoughts by my Dad. He looked half his age and more so like my elder brother. We hugged for a brief instance and I let the tears just flow. Mommy appeared ever so busy and tensed. I had to pull her and pinch her cheeks. She cried with excitement and she cried. My tears hadn’t stopped flowing by the way.

My jingo-bang TASK came along (with me, the T already present for once). I looked at them and realised that almost a decade had passed since we’d met and the spark that first got us together was still very much visible. It was a big change coming for me and for all of us after today. I wondered if that would actually tame and sober me down….. (….truth is, it hasn’t and probably never will….).

My attire did not let me move around normally and there were too many people giving me way too many instructions. I was racing to complete tens of transactions per minute. Surprisingly my accuracy was 0.00001 percent.

Everyone around seemed to be very happy!. And what did I feel ?? I was happy. I was very happy. I was glad. I was anxious. I was nervous. I was confident. I was sad. I was excited. I was scared. I was not “I”. It struck me then…would I remain to be myself? Would I continue to be “me” after this day?

I had never lived away from Mom and Dad. I had never taken care of anybody other than myself. I had never shared a wardrobe. I had never shared a blanket. I had never shared a room!!! Surely, I knew it would be different. I love change, but this?!?

Amidst all the thought process that was going on within, lightning flashes of photography was in progress. If only they could capture my thoughts too, I wondered…

Cranking hard, the same wonderful face was sneaking up to the room to catch a glimpse of me. I pushed aside everything and walked straight up to the entrance. All my anxiety, all my fears and all the nervousness that was prevalent thus far, magically disappeared. I had found my soul mate, I had found my friend, I had found myself!

I now, just waited for the almost whimsical love story to complete for yet another new beginning.

My wedding, the most memorable event of my life last year.
Its still the same “me” and its still the same “us”. Thank you God. Thank you All.
Another whimsical one year just completed…..